Lizard Tales!

So every evening I come in tired from work and only have strength enough to sit and watch the news. This has to be done on my laptop of course because I own no TV (yet, money soon start rolling in, lol). But of course, since my mother, the adult, MUST ALSO see the news, I must bring it into her sewing room (she sews for a living).

I don’t know when or how it happened, but the light above her cutting table all of a sudden now hangs from a chord or two, displaying a nice little black hole out of which spews more snake-like chords. So what do you imagine resides there like it owns the place? Mhm, that’s right. A lizard.

This lizard, Lizzie, Mr Lizzo, Big Eye Lizahd, Shine-Eye Lizzad (the many names I’ve given it) has a very special and exciting routine (please note the sarcasm).

Every night, just as the news begins, he pops his head up from the top of the window curtain that directly faces us, looking from our faces to the hole ABOVE OUR HEADS, to our faces again. Then he wiggles out mid-way to the crook in the housetop, then waits for us to shout “MOVE OLE LIZAHD!” or “GWEH! GO BACK IN!” Then he rushes down behind the curtain. And the cycle begins until, I don’t know when, or how (just like his very abode) he actually reaches his final destination.

Soooooo mek mi tell yuh how bright and facety this lizard is.

When he actually gets ‘home’, he doesn’t just go in like a good neighbour and keeps out of sight. Oh no. Instead he lingers right outside the ‘gate’ and STARES US DOWN LIKE HE’S THE BOSS OF THIS. As Jamaicans would say, “Yuh eva see mi dying trial?” How him so bright man???

But here’s the twist.

One day I’m looking up at this brute and noticed something different. I couldn’t tell if it was his size or colour or just the obnoxious manner in which he stared, but he had definitely changed somehow. Not to mention the fact that his belly seemed… fatter. Before I could even come up with a solution for it, out comes Mr Original from behind the curtain!

Yep, there’s two of em. And apparently, one’s the wife.

But don’t think we’re gonna sit back and let the family grow. Oh no. The insect spray shall stop the growth in its tracks man… one day… when we stop being too lazy to buy it and stop saying it’s getting too expensive to buy… Yup! The mission won’t be impossible. No sir.

A part from that, anybody wanna donate a cat? Would be much appreciated! (Not to mention free 🙂 )

Have you any experiences with pests in your yard? Share your story in the comments below! And wish me luck on that bug spray 😦

Share a smile this week :p

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